When Life Seems Heavy
How are you doing today? Right now? What emotions are present for you and how are those showing up in your body? What actions are you taking (or avoiding…) based on those feelings?
Quite honestly, for both of us it’s a mixed bag. While we both deal fairly well with stress, during the current pandemic situation we are at times challenged to stay positive and muster energy. And, as women and mothers, we are also impacted by many of the trends that other women and moms are experiencing these days: supervising kids participating in school at home; ensuring our parents are healthy and well cared for; supporting each other, our business and our clients; and so much more. Even though we know self-care is extremely important and value it deeply, especially during times of high stress, we can forget put ourselves first whenever possible.
So, when life seems heavy, when you question whether or not you have the skills or stamina to handle one more thing on your todo list or on your mind, take just a few minutes try some of the following:
Breathe: Yes, simply the act of mindful breathing can help clear the mind and the body of tension. You don’t need to seek out a quiet space alone (thought if you can--go for it!)--you just need to stop what you are doing, close your eyes and do the following: breathe in deeply for a count of 6, hold for a count of 2, breathe out slowly for a count of 6, hold for a count of 2, repeat 2 or 3 times. Pay attention to your breath, your chest and belly filling and emptying, how the air feels entering and leaving through your nose or mouth. Even this little mini-mindfulness break can do wonders for your body and mind in giving a reframe and reset.
Focus: Pick1-3 things only that you will ensure you accomplish within whatever time period you have (it could be an hour, an afternoon or 5 minutes…). We try to take on too much at one time. As much as we would like to believe we are good at multitasking, we are not--we simply are not wired for it. So, slow down, prioritize, and try to do one thing at a time.
Maintain perspective: Of the items on your list, how well or completely do any of them need to be done? Sometimes “good enough” is good enough. Leave perfection to those few things where it’s critical and give yourself a break on the rest.
Delegate or ask for help: In a home environment that has become all things to all living together, there are ways to delegate tasks to others (in other words, you don’t have to do it all yourself!). Even if you are a single mom with really young kids there are options: ask a friend to get groceries for you and deliver them to your doorstep; see if a co-worker can help you out with a project. We assume that others are too busy or won’t help--and usually, the opposite is true (and you won’t know if you don’t ask!).
Move: Research shows that moving your body and elevating your heart rate just a bit impacts energy and mood. Turn on a favorite disco tune and dance (alone or with your pandemic housemates); do some jumping jacks or burpees; try some stretching or yoga. Just a few minutes of movement can do wonders for your outlook.
Give yourself grace: Times are tough right now and our pandemic tolerance bucket is dry. You likely are giving other people the benefit of the doubt--how about extending that courtesy to yourself?
Finally, take advantage of small opportunities to put yourself first--just a few minutes of targeted self-care can work wonders. And, if things seem such that you just can’t pull yourself up, remember there is help. Reach out to a friend or family member; contact your primary care doctor; seek a therapist or counselor. You do not have to manage the heavy times alone! We understand that it may take great courage and extra energy to ask for what you need--and we are here to tell you that it’s important and you are worth it.
We are curious about what you do to get through particularly heavy times. What are your self-care go-tos? Please comment below.
Be well,
Amy and Holly
