Are you “Should”ing on Yourself?

We all have endless “to do” lists and things that need to be done for survival, like being employed so you can care for at least your (and anyone who depends upon you) basic needs. This article is not about those things, it’s about the things you tell yourself you “should” do, that perhaps aren’t requirements by basic need standards.

Maybe that list looks something like this:

I should

• Do that HIIT workout

• Eat vegan

• Read that self-help book that I keep picking up and putting down

• Meditate every day and every night

And that is probably only the beginning of how much you are “should”ing on yourself.

What if you asked yourself this question instead?

What do I want to do?

This slight reframe helps when we are feeling overwhelmed with all the things we tell ourselves we should be doing. Is having an ongoing list of items that seem too much like work effective or conducive to how you operate? Getting in touch with yourself and really being honest with what you want is a great first step. The next step is to plan and set in motion meaningful ways to get yourself there.

Maybe being vegan isn’t actually “your thing.” Perhaps what you really want is to eat reasonable and balanced, not necessarily fully vegan. Maybe what you really want is to NOT read that self-help book because you just can’t get into it, or don’t enjoy reading. But, you do want to change some unhelpful habits. You don’t really want to read that book. You really want to spend time in self-reflection and need some tools to help you change.

Should you meditate each day and night? Or, do you want to meditate each day and night? Maybe you want to find moments during the day to breathe for a moment so you can feel calm and present. Do that.

We all have enough things required of us in life; doing a HIIT workout isn’t required. Some kind of movement is required to keep us healthy. However, what kind of movement do you want to do? What works best for you and your personality?

Maybe it isn’t the latest fad diet or a certain type of workout. Maybe you want the freedom and flexibility to move your body several times a day without a specific regimen. Thinking about what you want can be extremely helpful, especially for those of us who have a rebel side and don’t like being told what we should do, even by ourselves!

Now, you may be thinking, “I want to eat cheeseburgers and fries everyday.” Great, but does that get you closer to your ultimate goal? If the answer is yes, do you. However, there will be some serious health repercussions to consider. If you ultimately want a healthy lifestyle, cheeseburgers and fries have their place on occasion. Ask yourself, why do you I want them? Maybe they taste good and are an instant fix for your cravings. Maybe an instant fix for your cravings is what you want. What else might achieve this same goal that won’t give you a heart attack or illy affect your healthy?

We can help you answer these questions and discover your true self, what you want, and how you can get yourself there so you stop “should”ing on yourself!

Be well,

Holly & Amy