Giving Up vs. Giving In

I’ve been thinking a lot about commitment lately.  Commitment is “an agreement or pledge to do something in the future”*--it is putting your word on the line, involving action and accountability.  The funny thing about “future” is that it is any upcoming moment--the future of now can be one second ahead, many millions of years ahead, or somewhere inbetween.  Commitment can keep us focused and grounded and driven toward a purpose.  And, commitment can change based upon conditions we both do and do not anticipate (it is the future after all…).

So, when things change and commitment waivers, what are the options?  There are many, including the choice to give up or give in.  The power of the difference between those two little words--up vs. in--can have a real and long-lasting impact. 

Giving up is a state of mind.  It’s defined by words like abandon, abort, quit and can feel or be more permanent.  It’s characterized by a limited or finite mindset and a desire to put everything behind you and move on.  We tend to say “I give up”, out loud or internally, more frequently than we realize and it really can conjure more of a defeatist mindset.

Giving in is a state of circumstance.  It’s defined by words like pause, suspend, conserve, or postpone and feels more temporary in nature.  It is characterized by a broad or growth mindset and a desire to protect and learn and try again at a different time and maybe in a different way.  We rarely say “I give in”, and yet in most situations, this is likely the more accurate framework.

Let’s put this into perspective.  Simone Biles, after years of training and preparation and lots of pressure to perform, pulled out of several of the Olympic gymnastics events.  She cited concerns for her mental and physical health and worries of letting her teammates down by continuing with limited confidence and capability.  Did she give up or give in?  I would argue that she gave in.  She did not quit gymnastics altogether--she elected to take things one day and one event at a time.  She needed to conserve her energy and preserve her health and recognized that by giving in, she could likely avoid giving up.  She maintained her commitment to herself and her sport by giving in at a crucial moment that would allow for future possibilities.  And, when all was said and done, she did compete in one of the events and won a medal in the process.

When you are feeling extra pressure and/or pain that may disrupt your goals, what do you do?  In some cases, giving up may be the healthiest choice, like when the future circumstances are so different that picking up again later may not be prudent or possible.  And, in many cases, giving in may be the more accurate mindset--making a needed adjustment in order to persevere with continued commitment (and confidence!) farther along in the future.  

You don’t need to give up to get out from under--sometimes giving in to the temporary moment or circumstances can allow space and time to continue the journey later, whatever path you are on. Reach out to us at Core Endeavors before you give up—we can help support your plan for giving in and building confidence to get to what’s next.

*www.dictionary.com