So, What Are You Waiting For?
If you are like many people, you first bring up why NOT to do something before giving the real possibilities some consideration. Why is that? Excuses and avoidance happen for many reasons:
Fear: We are born with this instinct and it generally bubbles up into “fight or flight.” While these were literal survival instincts back in the days of early humans (no one wants to be lunch for a saber-toothed tiger!), today they can sometimes serve us dysfunctionally. True, our base instincts may be the first to react, but we have time and reasoning on our side. Fear can show up in a few pesky ways:
Fear of failure, mistakes or embarrassment: We tell ourselves lots of stories about how things can go wrong, or how we can look bad. Generally, end results are much more positive than we believe they will be.
Fear of the unknown or discomfort: Yes, change can be a bit uncomfortable. And, like with other fear, it’s usually not as bad as we anticipate. Instead of engaging in “flight”, dig deep and “fight”--once over the initial hump of discomfort, the rest becomes much easier and more fun.
Fear of success: For some this can be a real issue--what if the changes intended actually happen?!? Make sure that the end result is truly desired, then go for it!
Lack of information and planning: Sometimes we underestimate what it will realistically take to make a particular change. Yes, we can usually adjust along the way to accommodate what’s needed, however a good plan up front is key to feeling comfortable beginning any change initiative.
Research and data can be critical elements to understanding the desired change and what it may take to get there. What might be involved? How much time might it take? What else might be impacted? It is possible to over analyze as well (so be careful!), however some thoughtful investigation is helpful.
Goals and action steps are accountability’s best friends. Without concrete goals, we wander aimlessly and are not as prepared for the bumps in the road (remember that saber-toothed tiger…???). There are many ways to set and track goals, which we’ll discuss in a future post; just know that specific goals and connecting the dots between each goal and the next are what provide the pathway to success.
Supports and resources are the tools that help to keep us moving toward the end result. Think about taking some friends and a backpack along on your pathway: Whose expertise might be needed? What items might be handy along the way? These will be different for different goals and circumstances and can be customized to help deliver the desired results.
We want to call out a few resource excuse traps: time, money, and people/energy/capacity. There are some real considerations to be made in these three areas and doing so is encouraged. There are generally limitations in each one. If waiting until every one of these is in an ideal state, the desired changes will likely never come. The next point below is also connected to this...
Unrealistic expectations: We want the best results possible. And, sometimes we look through a lens of perfection vs. a lens of good enough or reality, causing more work than necessary to achieve results not truly commensurate with the established needs. Usually, good enough is good enough to get us to the next level and keep us going along the path to whatever is next. We also tend to compare ourselves to others without a full view of what is really going on with them--trying to keep pace with someone else without understanding the big picture can establish unnecessary frustration and disappointment.
So, how can you overcome these pitfalls during change? Well, like in many areas of life, practice, practice, practice! And, in addition to continuing to embrace challenges and change when they come calling, try these techniques as well:
Prioritization: Especially when resources may be more limited, prioritization is key. When the sequence of priorities is known, change can be better managed and attained.
Ownership/accountability: When feeling more flighty than fighty regarding a change initiative, take ownership--accountability brings added purpose which can lead to heightened engagement and commitment.
Mindset: If you can truly believe in the outcome, priority, path, tools, resources and yourself, success is far more probable. See the final vision; know you can get there.
We want to end with our own story that can highlight this waiting game. We both transitioned out of our previous employer in January without concrete plans for what was next. We began to expand on some initial ideas in February—in person workshops, coaching, consulting and more. And then, Covid-19 hit. We each needed to adjust to meet the needs of ourselves and our families in navigating the impacts of the pandemic and we put these business dreams on the back burner. As we managed our lives, we continued to have unrealistic expectations in waiting for the “right time” to finalize and launch. In reflecting back, we also had some fears clouding our vision—fear of failure, fear of discomfort and, yes, fear of success. Thankfully, we had a vision, had started a plan, recognized the pitfalls and reset our mindset, prioritized ourselves, took ownership of our path forward, and held each other accountable. We share this to show that even change junkies can get caught up in default programming; and, by embracing the suggested techniques, we successfully launched Core Endeavors.
And, finally, we would not be true coaches and consultants if we did not suggest hiring a partner. Change does not need to be navigated alone--we can help. We believe in you, in ourselves, and in the partnership we can develop. Great changes can take place when we work together.
So we ask again, what are you waiting for?
Amy & Holly
